When I was in college, most of us girls were on the prowl for husbands. Some of us were cooler about it than others – acting like we didn’t care – but most of us were on the hunt. At a Christian college, it seemed imperative to find your man before all God-fearing ones were gone. Most of my friends and I had major crushes on someone at some point in our careers, and most of us didn’t end up with those guys.
What many of us did end up was better than anything we could have imagined. Some of us married men who were not even on our “radar” in college, even though they attended school with us. Some of us met amazing men after we left school. Some of us met good men, married them, and then got divorces some time later. Some of us are still single.
Yet, I would wager that all of us are better with what we have than with what we imagined we wanted in college. I know I am. If I had married the guy I had a crush on – as good a man as I am sure he still is – I would have been nuts. He was too much like me and too philosophical, too deliberate in all of his choices. He would never have wanted to catch the Leverage season premiere with me on Sunday like Dave did. Instead, we probably would have been reading quietly to prepare for our week of ministry. Now, don’t get me wrong – this man is good, and he married a good woman, and what they do is wonderful, I’m certain. But it’s not for me.
The truth is that sometimes what we think we want is not what we want. And sometimes what we want is not what we really want because it’s not what we need. Sometimes the best things for us are the things we are least likely to desire.
This morning I was reminded of this as I got a little overwhelmed with anxiety about a particular situation. I took some time, laid my head on the giant Pikachu Dave bought me, and prayed. God reminded me that what I needed most at that moment was to cling to him and stop trying to fix the situation myself. I didn’t like that, but boy was it what I needed to hear. And you know what, as soon as I found rest in that, I heard from someone – within ten seconds – and the thing that was causing my anxiety was gone. The thing I thought I wanted was not what I really needed. I needed that word from God today.
Sometimes just the right thing comes in the most unexpected ways. That’s the glory of life . . . thank goodness I don’t always get what I think I want.
– “The Eye of God” – Helix Nebula