This coming weekend, we are going to finish our shade patio at the front of the farmhouse. Dad is bringing over a skid steer, and we’ll load in soil (and lengthen the space for the barn at the same time.) Then, we’ll mulch it all and plant ferns and bleeding hearts. 
It will be my mom’s garden, and it will be my way of remembering her as part of our wedding.
At the wedding, on that day of great joy, we will not have a tribute to her, except for something small and private I will carry with me of hers. I cannot tell you how much I miss her, how much I wish she could have known Philip, how much I ache for her to be there on that day.
But that day, we will put aside all those feelings as best we can and celebrate. I simply do not want to call forth grief on that precious, joyous day.
So please know that I remember my mom, that I want her with me so desperately, but please, don’t tell me you know she’d like to be there or say something pithy about how’s she’s watching. Just know that I miss her and spend some time in her garden out front, if you will.
And recommend shade-loving plants, too. We’ll have painted ferns – Mom’s favorites – and some hosta, too. I’d love other ideas, though. What do you recommend?