43 agent queries. 22 kind but direct ‘No’s. 12 ‘No’s of silence. Six requests for the full proposal and one for pages. Still, no agent. 
It’s hard to get a book published, and I’m okay with that, even though every ‘No’ filled my eyes. I want publishers to have standards, even if those standards don’t include my book or the books I like to read. People should have the right to publish what they want, and since publishing is a business, they have a right to be able to sell what they publish. Totally good with that.
But my book – my book about these people – it needs to be in the world, not because I wrote it but because these people should be known. People should know Malvina and Lucy, Berthier and Ben. That’s the most important reason to self-publish – to get their story into minds and souls. Since I have the means to share, I will.
For me, there’s another reason – people supported my research for this book with a Kickstarter campaign. They believed so big-heartedly in my work that they gave money to stand behind it. They are – then – my publishing company, and I want to do right by them..
So here I sit, with today’s work ahead of me – a final, final read-through of the manuscript before it goes to the editor. A final chance to add, to nuance, to fill in. Then, I hand it to someone I trust to make it shine.
I’m nervous in the bottom of my stomach. If I don’t control myself, I’ll bounce my legs for the next month before the release. But I’m so so eager, too.
There are still many steps to this – steps I haven’t gone through before – but I will do this right – no slinging my words into the world – these people deserve better. My supporters deserve better.
But soon – hopefully in time for the holidays – you will be able to meet Primus. And I will be thrilled.
Have you self-published? Considered it? Why or why not?
I’m going to be looking for folks to help launch this book with me. If you’d like to be on the “Launch Team” – I always feel like a shuttle should be involved when I hear that phrase – and do a review of the book or interview me, I’d love to hear from you. Thanks.